Thursday, April 20, 2006

"Don't Make Me Do It, Helen..."

Blogs4Bauer suggests that, with the resignation of Scott McClellan as White House spokesman, the perfect replacement would be Jack Bauer.

B4B's Top 10 Changes Jack Bauer Would Bring to the White House Press Corps:

10. Positive stories about Bush increase 145% in his first hour alone.

9. Five moles weeded out of press corps by Bauer.

8. Ask a stupid question; get hooked up to the sensory deprivation device.

7. Podium replaced with bullet-proof barrier with gun ports.

6. All press conferences last an hour, with all tough questions coming at 45 minutes past the hour.

5. By the end of a press conference, a minimum of 34 people would have been killed.

4. "No comment" replaced by "We don't have time for that question".

3. Gary Bauer mistakenly showed up to a press conference, once.

2. All comments will be yelled.

1. Blogs4Bauer starts to live-blog press conferences.


Lyn Cash said...

As a Baur fan, loved this - ROFL.

Michelle said...

Too funny!

And somehow a whiny reporter with no spine would end up being the Evil Villain who Masterminded it All. :D

Jill Monroe said...

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one on the planet who has never watched 24.

Am I right?

Paula said...

Actually, my mother hasn't either, Jill. Of course, she's seventy-two. What's YOUR excuse? :)