Sunday, June 18, 2006

Just Another Sunday

I've been feeling depressed all day. I slept all morning, felt cruddy all afternoon. Couldn't quite figure out why I had a hot lump in my stomach all day.

Then I dropped by Miss Snark's blog and found this poem.

I ended up crying like a baby.

Four years ago this July 7th, my father died after lingering in the hospital for a week following a massive stroke. Today is Father's Day. Do the math.

I feel better after having a good cry, but it's kind of sobering to know that I'll never be completely all right again. There will probably be days like this throughout my life, when remembering my dad is gone hits me like a truck.

So do me a favor. If you still have your dad in your life, and he's ever done anything good for you--no matter how crazy he's made you at other times--give him a hug for me. I wish I could do the same. Even though he'd probably look at me like I was nuts.


Lexi said...

I'm sorry for your loss. People believe that once the funeral is over that you'll be "back to normal". It's been 9 years since my dad died and I still miss him and I still cry.

But not as much.

It will get easier, but you'll always have days or moments when the tears will fill your eyes. But if you're lucky like me, somedays they'll even been good tears as you remember good things and smile.

Gina Black said...

I'll hug my dad, if you'll hug your mom. Deal?

Hugs to you too,

Marianne Arkins said...

I lost my dad fifteen years ago, and there are still times that I miss him desperately... I don't know that we ever get over it. I'm so sorry you had a rough day.

Stacy Dawn said...

(((Paula))) and everyone else too.

Southern Girl said...

{{{{Paula}}}} I'm thankful I don't yet know what you're going through, but I feel for you. I'll give my dad an extra hug just for you -- yesterday I posted a tribute to him in my blog. I'm definitely blessed.

Jen said...

Paula, I know how you feel. My Dad died August 23,2002. I hate Father's Day. I have to pretend because I do stuff for my husband and his father. What I'd like to do is sit down and feel sorry for myself for a little while. I feel like an orphan (even though my MOm is still here) and I don't know why. I miss my Dad a lot. I'm with you on this one, Paula.

MaryF said...


I have definite issues with my dad, who lives in MN, but I did wish I could hug him yesterday. He made life altering decisions when he was 27 years old and now he's feeling the effects, I think. So I was a little melancholy yesterday, too, though I wanted to make the day special for my dh and my stepdad.